Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Je t'aime Montreal, Or Reasons I'm Moving to Canada.

1. There are lots of little dogs, and also lots of adorable children speaking French. You know who doesn't like cute kids speaking foreign languages and dogs riding in bike baskets? Dicks.

2. The food is out of control. Also, expensive. I would be broke within a month, but I would have spent that single orgasmic month eating croissants and gorgeous little salads and the kind of steaks that make you want to cry, so whatever.

3. No one wears sweatpants in public in Montreal. It's amazing.

4. They put truffles on your breakfast. As in, exquisitely beautiful handpainted little chocolates AT BREAKFAST.

5. Better coffee, wine, beer, and candy bars.

6. Rue St. Catherine, Boulevard St. Laurent and Rue St. Denis.

7. Arcade Fire is from there. Which is not really a reason, but makes a point about the kind of city Montreal is.

8. Everyone is bilingual and proud of it. Bizarrely enough, nobody puts those "I Shouldn't Have to Press 1 For English!" bumper stickers on their Smartcars and Priuses.

9. Canada in general has a strange dearth of Koran-burning preachers and Senate candidates running on a "No Wanking" platform. It's a nice place.

yeah, yeah, I realize they have a new album out and Pitchfork is getting a boner over it. I like the old stuff better. and this is my blog.

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