Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Excuse Me While I Go Cry Myself to Sleep

Well, once again, the Democratic party, of which I am ostensibly a member, is driving me to drink. (Labatt Blue, specifically. Not a coincidence.) The Dems managed to dredge up a candidate who could lose to a pretty-boy whose incendiary platform consisted mainly of "I have a truck."
They're saying this is a referendum on the DNC and President Obama--and it is, to an extent, but it's also simply a reflection of how sorry the political process has become. Nobody even wants these thankless jobs, and so we wind up with the most vapid and least charismatic characters possible running for public office. Scott Brown, with his campaign based mainly on his "regular guy"-ness and the perfectly mediocre performance of his daughter on a television reality show, would never have won if he were pitted against an actual politician.

This was a seat that historically belonged to the Kennedys. While I don't reserve any more fondness for the Kennedys than I do for the British royal family, they knew how to run a campaign. Have you seen Ted Kennedy's "The dream will never die" speech in a while? Or the one at the Democratic National Convention, given less than a year before he died of a brain tumor? How about any of Bobby Kennedy's speech where he quoted Aeschylus? (Ask Sarah Palin who Aeschylus is. Just ask her.) They might be have been entitled, boozing, whoring assholes, but fuck could those well-coiffed bastards run a campaign.

But now there's no Kennedys left, at least not any viable or eligible to run for Teddy's seat. So effectively, here's what happened:

Scott Brown: "I have a barn jacket. I'll lower your taxes. My family is attractive. This is my truck." (Paraphrase.)
Martha Coakley: "You want me to stand outside Fenway Park? In the cold? Shaking hands?" (Actual quote.)

Considering how much was riding on this, it might have been nice if the Dems showed up to play. And if Martha Coakley hadn't quoted goddamn Herman's Hermits in her concession speech.

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