Resolutions, I Guess

So it’s January, which means I was supposed to make some resolutions about three weeks ago. I pretty much never make New Year’s resolutions, because I’m a realist. Also, like Neko Case, I believe I’m an animal, and you’re an animal too. It’s the winter. I live in New England. All I want to do is make myself a nice little layer of blubber, curl up somewhere warm, and stay there. I do not want to be lean, or mean, or a fat-burning machine. I want a season of Mad Men on DVD, a slab of apple pie the size of my torso and one of those peppermint monstrosities from Starbucks. Because really, who am I to fight Mother Nature?

But there is a force greater than Mother Nature in this world, and Her name is Oprah. Oprah and her pet gurus all encourage you to visualize what you want for yourself in life, and to make a board with pictures, articles, quotes etc. that are going to help you reach that goal. Now, I’m not really sure what my goals are. But in honor of the new (ish) year, here’s a start to my board of Oprah voodoo—five people I want to be more like in the coming year.

Tina Fey & Amy Poehler: Funny, awesome, successful, down-to-earth and just cool. I wish I could come up with something better than a string of adjectives for these two, but I can’t. They’re that awesome. And yes I know they're not the same person, but I couldn't have one without the other.

Alice Munro: I just read her most recent collection of short stories…it gave me nightmares and made me actually delete several dozen pages of my own writing in a fit of despair. It was fantastic.

Rachel Maddow: Because she basically says what I think a hundred times more eloquently and bad-assedly than I can, and directly to the people I wish I could say it to. I’d like her whole vocabulary, and even half her ballsiness.

Lady Gaga: Yeah, she’s crazy, but she does whatever the fuck she wants.

Gabourey Sidibe: I haven’t yet gotten a chance to see “Precious”, but now I want to, if only because of its star, newcomer Gabourey Sidibe. Left and right she has been tackling interviews and the beginning of award season with grace, humor, and a total refusal to buy into the “movie star” thing. She’s just doing her own thing, and seems happy doing it.